Limericks

Back to words.  Here are the three non-winning limericks I wrote for the Washington Post Style Invitational.  Having read all the winning limericks, I can see why mine didn't win.  The Empress and I clearly have different standards, and taste, in limericks.  We've been judging limericks recently on Wordcraft in a fun thread that Bob started, so I am more familiar with how to judge winning limericks.  I'd probably not have chosen any of the ones from the WPSI.  Like anything else, it's a matter of opinion, which is something like "what is art"...though I assertively won't go there!

Here are my non-winners:

In the morning my husband will dawdle:
“The newspaper says that this fraud’ll
Put hundreds in jail!”
“Come ON, hon,” I hail!
“Hurry up or I’ll kick your cute caudal!” 

To write one that’s right is a plight,
That dactyl that’s doubled’s not trite!
The irony is,
In the poetry biz,
Your dactyls create the delight!

While I sat in the beauty salon
That jerk took my Louis Vuitton!
That dastard is cunning
But as she is running,

Impeccable taste she will don!

I admit that these were written quickly, and they might benefit from some workshopping.  Still, I like the first and third ones.  I tried to write about DDs with the second, but I don't think it works.  Here is how Wordcrafter's Proofreader edited it, and I like it:

To write one that’s right is a plight,
That dactyl that’s doubled’s not trite!
The irony is,
In the dactyly biz,

It’s higgledy-piggledy-light!